Wednesday, September 03, 2008

WFMW - Backwards Edition: Sibling Squabbles

I am sooo glad that it's a WFMW backwards edition because I have a burning question!

I realize that all siblings fight. I have siblings and I fought with them. And, I've been a mother to more than one child for long enough to know about sibling rivalry. But, lately the sibling squabbles are frequent and enough to drive this mama right up the wall.

We started homeschooling this year. So far, I would have to say that it's been really good. After the first couple of weeks, both of my kids (4th & 2nd grade) have said that it's going better than they thought it would. They're enjoying our new adventure. And, I am too, with the exception of... you guessed it, the fighting!

All day long the battles go on. My son annoys my daughter and she squeals "STOP!". My daughter annoys my son, he hits her, she squeals. They just constantly seem to be picking on one another and annoying each other. When they decide to, they can be best of friends and great playmates.

So, please tell me your ideas on promoting peace, encouraging friendship, discipline, or whatever. Homeschool moms, I especially want to hear from you.

Thanks!

And, you can head over to Rocks In My Dryer to read other burning questions on this Works For Me Wednesday - Backwards Edition.

8 comments:

Awesome Mom said...

How about lock them in a room and let the survivor out? That is what my mom always threatened to do when we drove her up the wall with fighting.

I try and ignore them for the most part when they are fighting. They need to learn to settle things themselves. Of course my kids are pretty little so their fights are not too bad, mostly one wanting a toy that another has.

Sherri said...

I am a homeschooling mother of five children. Whenever they start squabbling they are automatically assigned as velcro buddies for the rest of the day. Meaning....that they do absolutely everything together, all day long, until they can learn to work and play together without fighting. Works like a charm. Now all I have to do is threaten it, and they shape up in a hurry. :)

Munchkins and Music said...

I know my mom use to make us run laps to let our energy out. That seemed to work for her. :)

TransitionGirl said...

What my mom did was to say, "you better stop before someone gets hurt." then she ignored us.

than someone got hurt and we got no sympathy from her.

We learnt pretty fast that we were on our own when we fought... and we learnt to settle it pretty fast.

Karen L said...

Ah, I remember the days when they were young enough to send off for a nap! My two youngest are 17 and 20 and believe it or not, the teasing continues off and on to this day. It's truly louder when they are teasing and playing than when they are truly angry with eachother and not talking ! lol I've figured out that siblings fight for 2 reasons: Mom's attention and Companionship.
I used the phrase "Use your words and come up with a compromise before the timer goes off or I'll settle it" worked well when squabbling to get my attention because no one liked my solutions. As for as the companionship issue I always sent them off to another part of the house where I didn't have to listen to it. Of course, the other mantra in our house was "People aren't for hurting", so physical fighting wasn't ever a problem.
I sure like the idea of a Velcro buddy, wish I'd had that one in my 'little bag of parenting tricks'!

The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino said...

I have similar issues with my 8- and 6-year-olds. I sometimes do the opposite of the velcro trick. I separate them and tell them that they are not ALLOWED to be together until I say so. They usually become desperate for the other's company!

Michelle said...

[disclaimer: I am not a mom]

Have you tried incentives? Like, a treat if they get through the day without fighting? Or asking him to help her with her work when he's done... it could work.

DeeDee said...

Several good ideas mentioned already...
I just wanted to comment to encourage you in your journey of homeschooling.

We homeschooled for 12 years. So glad that God called us to it.

My first year, I had 5th grade/2nd grade/1st grade. A special friend encouraged me along the way with this statement over and over... "A bad day at home is better than a good day at school." So, I just wanted to pass that on to you too:)
Blessings,
DeeDee